Proud Doctor Mommy

     Kartavya was enjoying his childhood to the fullest & I was reliving mine.
A negative pregnancy test in initial Jan 2019 was a matter of concern as well as relief.

Relief that I might not be ready for the responsibility of 2nd.
    
Concern as I wanted Kartavya to have a sibling & if not now then when?

Then a month later, during those few seconds while waiting in the loo for my pregnancy test result,
I told myself, Yes Binny; This is the time.
You are ready to be a mom of 2.

My prayers were heard & the 2  lines got darken.

 I & Chintan were blushing like hell.

"Congratulate Us, as We Are Pregnant again"

Forgetting the bundles of queries kept unsolved, we were celebrating.

• Would I be a good mother of 2?
• Kartavya being just 19 months of age, Is he ready to become a big brother?
• Being in a nuclear set up, how am I going to handle such a big responsibility?

Its rightly said, You can understand your capabilities only when you are out of your comfort zone.

It would be a big lie if I would say that I was enjoying my 2nd pregnancy.

• My back-pain & flabby tummy was not allowing me to lift Kartavya as before.
• Avoiding outdoor activity was the only option left; making him clueless & filled up with irritability.
• His unasked questioned turned into tantrums. 
• His unreasonable cry for hours, left with me no other option but to breakdown
• I had no time for my hormonal mood swings as Kartavya's cry was doing the needful.

Another set of Questions started revolving in my head:

• Did I took the right decision to plan another baby so soon?
• Would Kartavya accept his sibling?
• Would he be able to share my time & love with the other one?
• I am unable to take care of 1, what would be the case with 2?

But I was left with no option than to wait & let this time just pass.

There is a famous saying; Time flies & memories last, 
So instead getting gloomy I started building memories for my Champ.

From 3rd month of my pregnancy, I started introducing him to the little one growing inside; 
He use to call it "BABY".

• Made him feel it, by moving his hand on my tummy
• Made him feel his responsibility by asking him to bless the baby while doing our daily worships.
• Made him see videos of elder siblings taking care of little one.
• Visible baby movements on my tummy during my 3rd trimester used to bring excitement on Kittu's face.

But was this enough? 
    May be not!  as he was longing the love & time which I used to give him before & now I can't even though I wish to.

Stay calm Binny; Things will fall in place! 

This was the stanza I used to say to myself every night.

This positive attitude was not to heal Kartavya but Me.

As Parenthood is nothing but holding it when you are about to loose it.

Months of struggle turned to be fruitful,

When on 3rd of November 2019, we were blessed with a baby girl. 
I was eager to know about  Kartavya's reaction,  at the glance of the little Angel, 
                                                 &
As you all know, that Kartavya leaves  no chance to surprise us with his deeds,

This time even he turned everyone speechless.

No Jealousy, No Shock , No Hatred  but just a clear showcase of responsibility, 

He calmly placed his palm on her head the way he used to bless her when she was in my tummy.

I just saw the seed of love, it was Kartavya; A 2years & 4 months old boy who made the flowers blossom & turned them into a garden of joy.

• He is the one who hears her shrill cry before anyone else, running towards her cradle to give it a swing making her calm.
• He is the one who choose clothes for her every morning.
• Just a sudden shrill cry & Kartavya commands me "That baby is hungry , please feed her"
• He is the one who plays with her while I am busy in my daily chores.

"Kittu  Bhaiya is here Baby" is the stanza used by him to make her realize that she is not alone & Kartavya is always there for her to shield her from all the troubles.

Kartavya is turning 3 this June , but his actions make me feel so proud,

That I can proudly say:    I am proud of many things in life, but nothing beats being a Mother & now Mother of 2".

Worries, Difficulties, Responsibilities, Anger, Grief & Pain are part of Parenthood but  why not balance it with Love, Joy, Excitement, Learning & Craziness that our Kids teach us.

 

Just believe in your kids as they do wonders.

I am witnessing mine, what about yours?

Blog 26: MOTHERHOOD AGAIN.

Blog 26: "MOTHERHOOD AGAIN".

*Big round uneven gravid Tummy,

Made Kartavya clueless,Why am I no more been lifted by Mummy.

Gait was no more careful while feeding Kartavya food Yummy;

Supporting belly was fun while playing cricket with Kittu in Lobby.

Forgot about nausea & fainting while seeing Kartavya Happy;

Yes, this is the Motherhood I dreamt of, Parenthood waiting ahead for Papa, Kittu & Mummy.

*Stretch marks got shadowed with wrinkled forehead for Kartavya's Health;

My swollen foot were less worrisome, than his mischievous games to be Dealth.

Warm socks, Oily Hairbuns kepping other hairstyles  on Hault;

Trendy attire, parties and movies were just to be Dreamt.

No more glowy or bubbly face but tiresome feeling I Felt;

Turning 3 to 4, Yes; We Are Pregnant.

*Lots of food, but no time to Eat.

Kartavya buzzing around, not letting me out of his Sight.

Frustration, mood swings & spouse Fight;

But what always kept me going, was Kartavya's Hugs Tight

Don't know when Morning turned to Midnight;

Too long 9 months of waiting to see those twinkling eyes Bright.

*No timely checkups, forgetful reports of sonography to See;

Unscheduled medications while scheduling Kartavya's time to Pee.

Getting myself locked out, forgetting house Key.

Tiny legs kicking inside as well as outside Me.

A life inside growing everyday says to Me.

Don't worry Maa, this difficult situation will change, as soon as Kittu-Bhaiya have glance of Me.

Blog 25: Tale of my Pregnancy Kit.

    So here I go to a medical shop dressed in black trousers with a yellow ochre tunic, slight elevating my heels with white wedges.

Tall as a hereditary gift from my parents 

and 

Slender as a boon even after eating on my verge.

I was not at all looking like a mother of one; which obviously I am proud of, but maybe the expression that the pharmacy guy gave me after asking for a Pregnancy kit was weird to digest.

Come on....., it's just a "Pregnancy Kit".

I wish the same was his response with guys who ask for "Condoms".

Many preparations were made before changing the original placement of the kit. And before packing it into a beige opaque envelope, one deadly question was asked to me.

How many Pregnancy kit you want mam?

Ohhh Really!

Did I hear it right?

Was he too ignorant;

or 

Too Smart to understand the confusion of today's ladies regarding confirming their pregnancy test with multiple kits. 

This incident made me realize;

Yes, ladies why not, 

As Condoms are packed in numbers,

The Pregnancy kit should also be packed in numbers.

Jokes apart, but wouldn't it be innovative to disclose your pregnancy test in a way like;

Best of 3 

or 

Best of 5.

Why limit your excitement for 9months and baby's birth. 

Your Pregnancy test is the first and the foremost moment of joy so, My dear New mommies, do share your Pregnancy Kit story.

To my Best Friend for Life.

    Celebrating Friendship by wishing our chaddi-buddies, schoolmates, college gang, professional colleagues and even our social media friends via heart-warming messages is the first thing we did this morning.

    But have we ever thought, the one who has promised to share his life with us, deserved to be wished first?

Frankly speaking, even I have not wished him yet;
But maybe this blog would be his Surprise Friendship Band which I am going to tie to his heart for a lifetime.

So;

Mr.Very Software engineer, Doctor Mommy wishes you a Very Happy Friendship Day.

    You are the one, without whose support I won't be able to move ahead as a Doctor & obviously you are the one who gave me the privilege of becoming a Mommy.

    I may be the one who holds the title of "DOCTOR MOMMY" but honestly speaking, you are the discoverer of "Doctor" as well as a "Mommy" in me.

    Never imagined, that a typical Arrange marriage would bring so many surprises to my life.

• On our 1st meet, 3rd March 2013, you were an interesting, sophisticated Stranger. 

• 17th March 2013 on Our engagement you became my friend for life.

• 25th May 2013 on our Marriage you became my friend for 7 incarnations.

I don't remember when was our Day of Love, when did I fall for you. till date, I am not having the answer to this question.

But one thing I can surely say is "I LOVE YOU more with each passing day".

So on this 1st week of August 2019, I want to thank you for;

• For Being my Best Friend for life.
• For loving me, no matter how hard I am to be with.
• Being a  perfect husband who forgave all the mistakes I made, and continue to do.
• For showering me with so much love, even on my days of mood swings
• For irritating me with your annoying habits
• For  mimicking my ascent & teasing me
• For making fun of me in front of my friends.
• For stealing away my family from me, by being best Son in law.

• For gifting me the coolest family of In-laws I could ever have.

• For gifting me Kartavya & being the best DAD he could ever dream of.

• For shielding me from all the pains & all the sorrows in this world. You are my perfect lifeguard!

    I would never become who I am today if you weren’t there motivating me with your kindness and inspiring me with your strengths.

After spending 6 years of Happily Married Life with Mr. Chintan Patel, one thing that I came to a conclusion is:
"Guru-mantra for Happy Married life is Respect, Peace & Patience".

So this friendship day, I am  celebrating peace & patience, not by surprise gifts, friendship bands or white flowers;

But by COOKING ALL WHITE FOR MY HUBBY.

AS A WAY TO MEN'S HEART IS VIA HIS STOMACH".

So My Mr. Very software engineer let us celebrate our friendship with;

1.Ghee Idli
2.Dhokla
3. Coconut chutney
4.Cheese-onion-chilly Uttapam
5.Mug of milk

Am I a Crazy Mom!

     Don't know whether I was crazy since birth or Kartavya is the one who should take its whole and sole responsibility.

     I seem to be very calm and composed socially but only my dear ones know-how annoying I am, they use to feel pity for my life-partner as well my offspring in advance.

My friends would have definitely gifted a letter of "Handle with Caution" to my spouse as my wedding gift.

On knowing about my conception, they were worried about my baby for handling such a mother.

I happily accepted all these statements which were actually true, as I was, I will & will always be Childish.

&

Being childish was actually going to help me in my motherhood as I had read somewhere "You need to be childish with your baby" 

but,

little did I knew that its level needs to match idiocy.

Yes, I am proud of being an insane mother as sometimes the only way to stay sane is to go a little crazy.

• I am proud to laugh hard with my kid without any reason.

• I am proud of cuddling him, kissing him madly and sometimes even biting him out of love. 

• I am proud to dance on sad songs to accompany him.

• I am proud of playing with his interesting toys when he is busy napping.

• I am proud to fake sleep, just to make Kartavya sleep and I am the one who wakes up after a few hours nap.

• I am proud to shop for self when planned for his closet to be filled.

• I am proud of enjoying movies in theatres by breastfeeding him continuously.

• I am proud of giving him trolly ride in the mall.

• I am proud of playing peek-a-boo, just to take a few seconds break from his tiring play.

• I am proud to have my ME time, keeping him engrossed with his dad.

• I am proud of playing cricket at home, in the lobby, in the mall & even in the theatre with him and shouting "OUT" loud which adds on to his excitement.

• I am proud to clap and praise him at any of his achievements, be it raising up from a fall, be his helping gesture or be it his funny dance.

• I am proud of jumping out of excitement on the sight of a sparrow, crow, cow, dog, cat, horse, sheep, etc just to make his learning more interesting.

• I am proud when my small sling bag is filled no more with any of my cosmetics but his clothes & toys.

• I am proud of carrying his favorite book everywhere & making animal sounds & gestures even in public.

• I am proud to keep him untidy and accompany him in his mud play.

• I am proud to make him wear the same clothes again and again until they are worn out.

• I am proud of making the same dal-chawal-roti-sabji for him every 5 days a week.

• I am proud of mimicking his actions & teasing him.

• I am proud of making him sleep by my fake scold.

• I am proud of calling every child, bhaiya & didi so as to make him understand the meaning of giving respect.

• I am proud when murmuring nursery rhymes took place of filmy songs.

• I am proud of making him involve in every household activity be it, grocery shopping, be it gardening, be it morning & evening prayers by lightening diyas at home, be it folding clothes and be it keeping things at their place.

• I am proud of sharing his pee & potty story which is obviously going to be embarrassing when he would grow big.

• I am proud of making the coconut pony with his military haircut.

• I am proud of making him wear Mowgli chaddi & click him.

• I am proud of kissing his cheeks with my teary eyes and apologizing for being harsh when he is in deep sleep.

• I am proud of warning other couples to stay away from parenthood until they have lived their life to the fullest, but inner me, know very well that life was incomplete without you Kartavya.

    Yes Kartavya, I know I can never be an ideal mom.

Thanks a lot for choosing me as your mom and coping up with my craziness.

Yes, I admit, Parenting is really hard, as 24x7 is the only shift that is offered in this job.

&

Raising kids is like walking in the park, i.e Jurassic park

 &

Trust me, dear mommies,

Fear is not an option so why not accept it with open arms and enjoy every bit of it.

So Kartavya, let me love you a little more before you are not little anymore.

His journey from a Father to a Dad.

    I wish Kartavya was born with a manual so that not only me but all my near ones could take care of him as per the instructions mentioned in it.

• How to feed him?
• How to stop him from crying?
• How to make him sleep on time?
• How to handle his tantrums?
• How to take care of him when sick?

But the very next thought was, 

      "Then what would be the difference between mother and others."

Kartavya has started speaking in his baby language, and everyone around, asks me that what does he mean, to which many a time I am clueless.

Yes, a Mother knows everything, but sometimes even mommy can not crack the code.

In our case, Kartavya has his translator.

None other than his Super Dad. Mr.Chintan Patel.
its rightly said

"No love is greater than Mom's love & No care is greater than Dad's care" 

Yes, dear mommies. Fathers too can take care of the kid, not like you but actually even better than us.

We mommies have some fixed notions and rules for our baby's schedule which when changed make us restless, so we try doing everything by yourself & ultimately make our task tiresome.
    We need help and who's better than your better half, as we forget one most important thing; That Your baby is half of him, how cannot he be able to take baby's care!

We carried our baby in our womb for 9 long months, still, post birth we are always in the learning process, so just imagine ur hubby's situation.
I admit fathers have their own way of handling toddler which is sometimes annoying, full of mischief & illogical.

But we need to give them some time & space with kid
as 

• He was the one who got most excited about the positive pregnancy test result, 
• He was the one who felt butterfly in his stomach, though the baby was kicking inside your womb,
• He was the one who had teary eyes on first glance of the baby.
• He was the one who first carried the newborn in his arms with trembling hands,
• And Sadly He Is the one who gets the least amount of time to spend with the baby.

How can we expect them to get ready for such a huge responsibility to which they get the least amount of experience & most amount of instructions to be followed.

Remember, how we felt when we get unnecessary advice from our dear ones and our poor hubby are continuously been counted for their mistakes. 

Fathering is not something perfect men do, but something that perfects the men 

The first 1&1/2 year your baby is dependent on you, but later let him take the charge.

• Be it messy feeding, 
• Be it bedtime mischief on soiled mattresses, 
• Be it an unscheduled nap.

Let them enjoy their Father-Son Time.

    I still remember, when Kartavya was just 11 months, I used to leave him with his dad with just prepared food and a short explanation of how to handle his mischief.

To my amaze, I didn't receive even a single call and to my return, both were fast asleep.

    Katavya left breastfeeding at 18 months of his age and following that his dependency on me transferred to his dad.
Now He is always in search for his dad, be it bathing, feeding, sleeping or playing games.

Do I feel jealous? Of course, I do. But it's part of the parenthood which I accepted with open arms.

Its truly said, Any Man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad.

Mr. Chintan Patel thank you for being my Kartavya's super dad.

Chintu + Kittu, you both truly form Father & son duo.

I wish; feeding your baby could be this simple.

   

 
     Recently I had a family trip to Dwarka.

Yes Yes, Like all mommies, I too was worried about Kartavya's schedule.

As I always say:

"A Vacation with your baby is just a change of Location"

But unlike my expectation, Kartavyta was very co-operative all throughout the journey as he had the company of his big bro Vedant & I was accompanied with 9 other helping hands. 

No worries of his sleep, no worries of his food or even his tantrums as everyone was there to help and keep him occupied.

Clearwater of Gomti river with Sudama Setu crossing it.
Dwarka beach & Shri Dwarkadhish temple.

Such a great journey it was, It was like enjoying my "Me-time" though surrounded by many.

 

    Day 1, We were traveling from Dwarka to Beyt Dwarka for Lord Shri Keshavraiji Temple, it is an inhabited island at the mouth of Gulf of Kutch, as it is an island we had to travel via a  ferry (boat) ride.

Bluewater surrounding us all around, 

A boat loaded with almost 200 people

&

Numerous seagull(sea birds) to accompany us till temple shore.

    It was a 15 min ride, and as we reached the shore, people were hustling to reach the shore while I was busy enjoying the breeze.

    As I stepped on the holy land of Beyt Dwarka; 

*The pathway was shared by multiple cattle as if we were the one who had entered in there premises.
 
*Colorful Hathgadi(Lauris) to carry devotees to the temple was an occupation of people to earn their living.

*Bare chest kids were no less than stuntmen for me as they were fearlessly jumping in the sea in search of coins dropped in, by the devotees.

*Lanes covered by colorful garlands, Threadwork Handmade Katchi clothes, accessories, and  Lord Krishna's idols & frames were enough to give a picture to all the Shri Krishna's stories narrated by my mother.

As we entered the temple premises, there was positive energy all around, those ringing bells, those chanting shlokas brought serenity to us & how to forget that Shastang dandavat pranam of Chintan to Lord Keshavraiji, which Kittu too tried to copy.

Yes my dear mommies, Rather than saying your baby what to do, make it easy by letting them copy it from you.

After darshan, it was time to return to Dwarka via our return boat ride.

Here one strange thing happened,

     A man in our boat raised his hand holding a biscuit & to my amaze, seagull just grabbed it via its beak from his hand.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!!!!!!! Seeing this, my mouth was wide open.

Hooooooooooooooooow?

Being curious, How can I not try.

So the packets of biscuits which were for Kartavya was destined to be for these Sea birds.

Nor 1, nor 2 but 7 times I had experience of my biscuits being grabbed by the seagull.

once I even got hurt with their pointed beak.

Some of the Seagull was grabbing the edibles from one's hand, while somewhere catching it when thrown in the air, while the tiny ones were waiting for the food to get dropped in water.

What an adventurous experience it was, but being a mommy rather than feeling that moment the first thought that came to my mind was;

"I wish, Feeding Kartavya could be this simple"

I would have to just hold his food & he would have run towards me to relish its taste.

But in my case the picture is a bit different;

Here I am the seeker,

Kartavya is the runner; 

and 

Even after placing food in his mouth, I am not sure, about who is the winner & who is the looser.

The worst part is, both of us have to play this game almost 5 times a day, but the one who needs resting time is never Kartavya.

I know, I am not alone. All mommies must be facing this neverending chaos.

Some might have to deal with messy feeding, some with difficult one while some with never hungry babies.

So here are some tips, in brief, to make feeding a bit less tiresome. 

1. Let your baby enjoy its food.

      Let your kids relish the taste as well as consistency of food. don't start solids too soon.

After 6 months of exclusive breastfeeding, slowing change the consistency from liquid to puree to blended soft solids to chewable texture.

Let your baby develop swallowing and chewing habits with time.

Let them relish the taste of different nutrients with different colors and consistency.

2. Food tastes better with your family

       Yes, this quote is applicable to a toddler too, 
We made a habit of eating with Kartavya & even getting excited on first glance of our served meal.

Turn mealtime into a party for your baby.

Smile, clap & encourage them on their achievement of completing their served meal.

Don't forget to try "Flying spoon " & "Peek a Boo" tricks.

3.Messy Babies.

    Allow your baby to play with food, as a 1st step to learning to eat is simply exploring it.

allow your little one to smash, smell, squish their food as it may satisfy their curiosity and make them more comfortable eating.

4. Small packages.

     Start with a small amount so as to make them learn about taste.
 Play with different taste in every meal throughout the day, so that your baby would also be waiting for their mealtime.

5. Bring on self-feeding

     Almost by 1 year, your baby can start feeding themselves; some with a spoon while some with their hands.

To be true this method is going to take time for me, as till date Kartavya though has started using a spoon but he loves eating with my hands like literally "Maa Ke Haath Ka Khana".

I too don't mind, as I wont be getting this chance once he is grown up.

6. Take help from his toys or habit of feeding chair.

        Use either a chair or any location of your house just to feed him, as he should know that if he is been placed at that place than its meal time.

7. Have patience.

      If your baby denies eating, please give him some time. try to get him involved in the play, calm him down, have a pleasant smile on your face and continue your attempt in feeding.

Never forcefully feed him, as it can develop fear in your baby on each feeding session.

8. Take Help.

      Change your duties with your partner.

Let your kid enjoy their feeding sessions with their father or other family members.

9.Playful Feeding.

       Play with textures, color & taste in your every meal. 

Let them find how interesting eating can be, by turning their mouthwatering and eyes twinkling with multiple options served in their plate.

10. Schedule their meal time.

       Feed your kids only when they are hungry. Let them ask for food.
Avoid snacks especially chips & biscuits. Almost by 18 months of age, their meal timings would turn to be like adults.
At least keep 3-4 hours gap in every meal & most important never overfeed them.
Try to understand their hunger pattern and work accordingly.

11. Consult.

    Even after trying so many tricks, some babies are very difficult to handle, so here you need to know whether there is a real problem or a temporary phase. 

Talk to your baby's  Paediatrician or Paediatric feeding specialist.

All Babies are not the same, nor are their tantrums, nor are their requirements for growth.

All Babies need not be chubby for being healthy.

Let them grow at their own pace and keep a check if it's affecting their health.

As childhood is a journey, not a race. so let them enjoy it as they won't get a second chance to relish same.